I’ve sung to my daughter Avery ever since she I knew she was coming into our lives. When she was a newborn, there was one made-up song in particular I would sing to her when it was just the two of us and we were having a “moment.” If you’ve been through the process of becoming a new mom then you know how many highly emotional “moments” you have in those first few months. I felt elated, I felt exhausted, I was filled with love and yet somehow still felt a sense of sadness work its way through me. That’s the heaviness of new-mom life. As she got older I kept singing to her, but that intimate little song I sang to her as a newborn (let’s just call it Baby Girl) stopped being sung.
I never forgot it though. How could I?
A couple of weeks ago, my now 2 year old was sitting on my lap and we were singing songs from Frozen. And let me just tell you, I can ROCK Love is an Open Door like nobody’s business. Just ask Avery 😉 I suddenly got the nudge to start singing Baby Girl to her. Within a few seconds she stopped squirming around and looked me right in the eyes and her eyes began to well up. She then placed her head on my chest and hugged me as I kept singing the song to her.
It’s like she remembered.
I just thought this was adorable and totally endearing, so I thought I would sing it again to her the next day! As I was putting her to bed, I began to sing her the song. I got no more than 4 words out of my mouth when Avery began balling. Just a moment of hearing the song, she instantly burst into tears and clung to me as if she had experienced something so deep. It was like a cry of grief. You know the ones you have when you wake up the next morning after a breakup, or the loss of a loved one and it hits you in a moment? It was that type of cry. Of course I stopped singing and consoled her until she was all back to smiles, but her reaction stuck with me.
I couldn’t stop wondering if I had created that in her? Did I anchor those heavy new-mom emotions into her as a baby and that song was the trigger to bring them to light?
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