I used to think things needed to go a certain way. High school, then college, then career, then marriage, then baby. That was the right way… until it wasn’t.
It had always been a dream of mine to get married and have babies, but I was already married. Married to the idea that these series of events needed to happen in a specific order if I wanted them to last. It was ridiculous but nonetheless it was my belief.
Now I truly cannot complain. I was in a committed relationship (with my now husband), living a good life and working a wonderful job, enjoying a new city. Life was good. But I wasn’t ready to have babies. I mean we weren’t even married for crying out loud!! – eyes roll-
This was important to me, and to some in my family. It was important to me only because I thought thats the way it was supposed to go. If I was married, then that means I would get the commitment. If I was married, then it would be socially acceptable to have a baby. If I was married it means I would have been fulfilling my life plan…
I could go on and on about the conditioning that may have led me to this conclusion, but the point I want to make is that I was in major control mode. I was trying to control some BIG life events and plan them out down to the month. Life just doesn’t happen this way! The Universe has this beautiful talent of providing what you need in the most divine timing. I didn’t know this yet.
I was also terrified of what others thought of me. What would my job think of me when I told them this wasn’t on my plan for a while? What would my family think of me? This was so uncharacteristic of something I would do. What would I think of me?
Listen to the Podcast to hear the full story about how my life got flipped, turned upside down (yes that was a Fresh Price reference) the day I found out I was pregnant. I cried harder than ever. I was terrified to tell my Mom and then we went to Chipotle…. You’ll have to listen to understand that one 😉
And it all turned out to be the biggest blessing in my life.