Getting cheated on and having my heart broken was one of the best things to ever happen to me.
When I was just a few weeks shy of turning 25, I came home to find that my boyfriend of 3 years was no longer in love with me. He had cheated on me and was ending our relationship.
We had been built a home together, with our 2 dogs, our car, and joint bank account. We were on the path to marriage… at least that’s what I thought.
I look back now and see very clearly that we had been headed down two completely different paths, but at the time I was completely blindsided. I felt as if my whole world shifted its orbit… and it did.
The thing is, I had wrapped up my entire identity and self-worth into this relationship. We lived together, we worked in the same industry just a block away from each other, we had the same friends, we did everything together. I no longer did the things that I used to do for me: write, draw, read, create. I say this not to point any fingers or place blame, but because I made the relationship my number one priority. A common practice of mine for as long as I remember…
But back to the breakup. My world had quite literally changed in the few short seconds where six words were spoken, “I didn’t want to do this.”
I was forced to accept this. I was forced to move on. I was forced to start over… and that was the most beautiful gift I could have been given.
Being cheated on and broken up with put me in a dark place. I grieved for my previous life, and the relationship we had in the beginning. I felt discarded, confused, and lost. I felt very alone at the end of the day. That feeling of being alone, gave me a chance to decide who I wanted to be… Because it was only me crawling into bed at night, and I needed to want to be around that person.
Through heartache, I received the gift of self-reflection. I had not been single since I was 15 years old.
In the search to fill a void, I found fitness. It began as therapy, then became a part of life. Eventually, it became a career.
Being alone gave me a new outlook. I come first. I lost myself for a moment there, and this was my chance to rebuild a new me, and find those pieces I had left behind.
It gave me the life I have now. I’ve married the man of my dreams, had a beautiful baby girl, gone further in my career than I ever imagined, and now I get to write for all of you.
I say all of this, not to dwell on a break up that happened 6 years ago, or to blame anyone for something HAPPENING to me. All of this happened FOR me and created a path for me to step into a new version of myself.
A break up is a gift because its a clean slate for you to recreate your life. Remember, you have complete creative control and if you are feeling like you have nothing to lose. You are in the best possible place to level up and raise your vibration, raise your standards and raise your glass. Cheers to you.
If you are going through this now, let yourself feel & heal. Then get up and become the woman you are dreaming of.
To listen to my entire story on how the break up went down, how I healed and how I met my husband- head on over to the Podcast!